i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
