I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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