can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
