Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
