now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
