that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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