Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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