my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
