I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
