I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
