I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
