New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
