Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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