dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
