you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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