this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
