my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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