anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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