you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
