Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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