I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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