I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
