dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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