you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
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