I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
