So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
