This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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