Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
