You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
