Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize