I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
