so explain again why im purple
no
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
