It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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