found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
