I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
In other news, I just burned my penis
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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