Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
