But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
