11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize