at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
