Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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