Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize