Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I forgot how hot balto sounded
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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