Sponge bath it is.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I need a beard to bite.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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