I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
