Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dick very happy bro
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
