Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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