do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
