No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
