1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have post one night stand depression
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