he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
