we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
