grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
