i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
