the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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