Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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