there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
