i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
