Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
birth control should be required to get into college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
